I find myself in the in-between. Trusting in God that he has a plan for me. Trying to be patient. Persuading myself to enjoy this “free-time” before everything falls into place, and it’s been a roller coaster to say the least. In the midst of it all I find myself having inner battles. That question I’ve been asked since filling out my college applications still haunts me and I’m starting to feel the weight of it. It goes like this “what do you want to do when you grow up?”
Honestly, I still don’t know.
I think I’m plagued with indecision, but more than that, I think that I’ve been feeding myself a lie. The lie that there is a perfect job for me out there somewhere, and if I look hard enough, I’m going to find it. When did people start believing that you had to love your job in order to feel fulfilled? I get it that some people do truly find their dream job (but even then there are some aspects you aren’t going to like), but there has to be other people out there who don’t, right? What if finding the perfect job meant reordering my attitude and my expectations and shaking off these stipulations and pressures I put on myself to please other people . . . BINGO, two points for Jaklyn (I think you’ve just stepped into my own personal pep talk session)! Now it’s just putting into practice all of these things, oh buddy. On a side note, if you have any suggestions pertaining to a job you could see me doing, please let me know! 🙂
Well in the midst of all of these changes and inner battles, its been a time of new beginnings. I feel like the sand my heart was collecting is finally being washed away. Gray and I are in “The Monday Night Crew” a group of about 10 people, who are around the same age as us, who meet to discuss, wait for it . . . life. I love it! The girls in the group are starting the book, “Lies Women Believe,” and I cannot wait. I’ve only read the introduction, but I’m excited to see how God works through this book to impact all of our lives.
Other news, most of my time these days is consumed with this energetic fella and job applications, but I forgot to take a picture of those. Riggs can be quite the rascal. I just caught him trying to dig his first hole today, big sigh. I’m gonna have to nip that one in the bud (love that phrase) :).
Mom he’s turning out to be a lot like Tessa, he loves plastic bottles and sticks, he tends to think they are alive and they keep him entertained for at least ten minutes which makes me extremely happy and gives me time to finish projects and bake pies!
To conclude this randomness, I’ve been liking this extremely warm weather lately which is surprising for me because I really love the cold. One of my favorite moments of the warm day occurred when the sun came shining through the grey this afternoon. It let me enjoy my beautiful wind chime . . . and then I realized the dog was digging, ha. I hope you have a great Wednesday!